Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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