Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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