i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
As shirtless as possible
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
