Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
