Do vagina's smell?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
