He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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