But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
