suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
