if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
