Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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