Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
