Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
