I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
