Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
