SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
