Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
