I forgot how hot balto sounded
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
