Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
