btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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