With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
pop tarts are not kleenex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
