Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
