At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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