Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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