well you can't waste a boner
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
