Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize