just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
