I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
