Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
