Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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