I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Are we still banned from the library?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
