we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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