what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
nutella sex= disaster
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
