I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
