Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
