Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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