Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
