Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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