I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dick very happy bro
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize