On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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