3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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