they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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