Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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