Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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