She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
