WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize