The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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