Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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