it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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