sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize