dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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