i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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