She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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