Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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