Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
