I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
