My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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