my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
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I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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